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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Baby Hulk ~ My Baby Ate Cat Puke

How I felt when I realised what had happened
Yup. You read that right. My baby ate cat vomit. I. I just. I don't even... Let's start from the beginning:

Today Lumpy had a special guest come to his school. The Reptile Man. This guy comes in with bins of snakes, turtles, and even a gator. It was really neat. It was after Lumpy's actual school time right at lunch. Other smarter moms brought lunches for their kids. I didn't even think about it what with the fact that I am a horrible mother as this post already implies. Lumpy got to take fun pictures with some of reptiles so he was begging to see them all the way home. I told him I would put them on my computer and we would look at them after lunch.

Lunch was made, Lumpy scarfed his down and went to watch Mighty Machines.  I was still feeding Baby Hulk. Lumpy ran in to inform me the cat had puked. I groaned and told him I would clean it up when Baby Hulk was done since I couldn't exactly leave him alone while he was eating. So 15 minutes later Baby Hulk is finally finished and I have totally forgotten about the puke. I cleaned him up and got him dressed because he has to eat in the nude or all of his clothes would be ruined, even with a bib. I sit him down with his toys, hand him two toy plates to bang and go sit down on my couch to pull up the pictures for Lumpy. Then I look up, Baby Hulk is sitting next to the vacuum cleaner, what is that bright orange thing next to him... Then it hits me. I run over hoping I am wrong. My cat is bulimic. She gorges and then barfs. It was a pile of only partially chewed soggy cat food. Maybe he hasn't seen it. He looks clean.... he looks up at me and smiles his big open mouth smile..... there are chunks.... chunks of orange... in his mouth!!!! I snatch him up and run to the kitchen. I think I performed some sort of water torture on him and I actually stuck his mouth under the running faucet. I stuck my fingers in and made sure all particles were washed out. I took off his now soaking clothes and sat him down on the kitchen floor where I could see him and went and cleaned up the puke. While I was cleaning Baby Hulk barfed on the floor. I ran in and looked at the green puddle. I saw no orange chunks. I wiped it up and smelled it... yup... I smelled my baby's barf. Smelled just like lunch. No cat food smell at all. I'm really hoping he just got it in his mouth and didn't actually swallow. Just to be safe I forced him to nurse. Breast milk is magic, I just hope some of it's magical properties work on cat vomit in baby mouths.

It was possibly the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me. I wanted to cry and vomit at the same time.  Not Baby Hulk! He kept his gummy grin on his face. Even while I essentially waterboarded him. On another note... I think this means my baby is not longer a vegetarian. Why couldn't he have done it with dog food like both of his big brothers?

1 comment:

  1. Omg!! Funniest but grossest post ever! And I know it's totally not funny now. But someday it will be:)


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